


Hospital sorrows

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: An added thing to the hairsalon au, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Because I'm a hoe for Brian angst, But mostly angst, Hospital, Just playing with it, M/M, Maylor - Freeform, Scene Expansion, Soft Maylor background, sad Brian, which is not mine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 22:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18352994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: From TinybutWicked's hairsalon AU (You can('t) say that my hair's a disgrace) (here in AO3) (GO CHECK IT OUT!!) an expansion on Brian's angst as he waits outside Roger's hospital room.In short: Roger's a hairdresser who's been attacked. Brian's a client that asked him out and then found him beaten.Brian doesn't like hospitals, at all. Much less knowing that someone he cared about was hurting in one of them.Gratuitous Maylorish angst!





	Hospital sorrows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TinyButWicked](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyButWicked/gifts).



Brian was sitting on the floor, with his head on his hands, and barely keeping the tears at bay. It was so horrifying, everything was terrible.

He had been in hospitals long enough to know how horrible they were. How slowly time passed, how bad you felt while on those beds, how hollow and pained and sad and lonely. Hours and hours without anyone else there, without anything to distract you but your own pain, and the memories of what has happened to you. Hours and hours to dwell on the consequences this might have, on your pain and discomfort, waiting for some information from the doctors, for a visit, for something. It was horrible – possibly one of the worst experiences ever, short of funerals and actual death.

Brian couldn't help flashing back to the times when he was ill, and it hurt him, because they weren't so long ago, and he hated that he had caused so much grief to those around him. He cried so much, he felt so abandoned despite his parents' constant visits. He had felt wrong, had felt useless and so profoudnly unhappy, he had...well, in some moments he had just wished for the illness to take him. And to think now Roger was trapped in that hell....

Brian knew that he shouldn't have got so attached. He knew that he barely knew the blonde man, they had only spoken a handful of times, not enough to be this important for him, to be so affected. But Roger had been something special in his life, a light that had made his days brighter, someone that made him want to get through the day, that kept him away from the darkness that so very often plagued his heart. (He couldn't help thinking what a nice couple they would be, Roger would keep him away from the darkness, and Brian would make sure Roger didn't burn in the sun, would soothe his metaphorical sunburn)

But now this could never happen. Freddie kept saying that it was good that Brian had found the blond so quickly an that he'd been there, but... Maybe if he hadn't asked for that coffee Roger wouldn't have been there, or maybe he would have with someone else... Maybe the attacker had taken advantage that Roger was distracted with their date and maybe if he hadn't...Brian sighed. Roger didn't deserve this, the pain, the solitude, the horror...

Roger was (or at least seemed) such a vibrant, loving soul, with so many things to say, such passion for what he did, such kindness and intensity in his eyes... He was careful but not boring, he was opinionated but not pushy. He seemed to be a really great person, and now he was alone in a hospital bed all drugged up and with his face absolutely bruised. And Brian remembered that pain relief wasn't all that good, at least in his case, for his illness. Roger was probably in pain right now and it was horrifying and Brian wanted to scream.

Maybe it was a bit selfish, but it hurt Brian a lot that now, very probably, him and Roger would never happen. Because now Roger would connect him with that awful day, with the attack, with the hospital, and maybe he wouldn't want to see him again – at least not in that way. “But you saved him!” a voice inside him wanted to say. “I didn't save him.” Another immediately replied. “I just panicked while I called an ambulance.” That had been horrifying too.

Watching Roger thrown on the floor, unconscious, with all all blood surrounding him. Wanting to do something, but fearing anything he would do would only hurt Roger more. Feeling so incredibly useless, so awful, so... faint.

Brian didn't remember when was the last time he ate: he'd been too nervous about the date with Roger and not able to stomach anything, and it had been a good many hours since that. He hadn't slept all that much either. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he was so affected, so... delicate. Why the mere thought of Roger thrown on the floor and unresponsive made him nearly tear up. He should be more mature, more put together.

There had been so much blood, it had been so gruesome. The fact most of the damage was in the face didn't help, at all. Roger was usually so beautiful... to see his face mangled like that was not a sight one could easily forget. He was going to have nightmares with it, Brian knew. Maybe Roger would have nightmares with him too, since he'd been connected to this whole ordeal. Roger had been waiting for him when he'd been jumped and maybe he would connect the two elements (Brian and being attacked) and would never be able to look at him again, not the way he used to.

Brian felt faint, sitting on the hospital floor. He thought he was over this whole horror. No more doctors, no more white coats and long ass tests, no more beeping of machines. The flashbacks to his own horrors were so vivid he felt nauseous, about to throw up. Horrible. He'd spent so many terrible nights in places like those...You felt so cold, so abandoned, so out of place. Brian remembered wanting to go home, to feel better, to leave. It was too much. It was eating him.

He'd been happy, for a while. He had his studies, he had his little apartment and his hair looked better than ever thanks to a certain hairdresser. A certain hairdresser who was single and cared about him enough to call to check on him when he hadn't shown up for a while. Roger. He thought he had him too, he'd even managed to gather the courage to ask him out. For a while, things seemed better. And now...

He felt light-headed, out of breath. He knew that hospitals shouldn't affect him so much (just because you spent the worst weeks of your life and nearly died there twice? what a pussy, Brian) but they did. He had his hands in his head and still that awful blinding light could pass through and hurt him. He hated all of this.

Brian knew that, technically, he was allowed to leave. He was little more than a stranger, Roger probably didn't need or want him there, and if he left those awful flashback sto his time in the hospital would be gone too. He could call the hairsalon a couple of days after, and maybe send some flowers to Roger's, ask Freddie how the blond was doing.

But he couldn't. Couldn't leave, couldn't get too far... He needed to know that Roger was safe from the horrors of hospital, or at least be with him to weather the storm. So that he wouldn't suffer alone. No one talked about the suffering that hospitals brought, did they? Only about the illnesses and health... But Brian knew about it, deeply. Cold stares from nurses who just wanted to go home. Doctors who rushed through and had no encouraging words, just haughty looks.

Roger didn't deserve that. Roger shouldn't have to go through that. It was not fair, it was wrong and he couldn't do anything about it...

A voice took him out of his corner of doom. Good. He could use with some distraction. Freddie. Apparently Roger wanted to see him. Well, that was good, because he wanted to see Roger too. End this night a bit better than it had started. Try to diminish Roger's suffering in a way (as well as his own).

When Freddie helped him up the sudden movement and the lights threw his body for a loop and his knees trembled, he nearly passed out then and there.  _Do not, Brian. If you do that they'll admit you. Do not._ And besides, Roger wanted to see him. That alone was enough to bring him back from the brink of unconsciousness. 

"Are you all right?"

Freddie's voice said. He sounded distant.

"Just tired."

Roger managed to look beautiful in spite of all the bruises in his face. He was really sweet, kept thanking Brian for helping him, finding him. He joked around with Freddie, smiled at him. It seemed that the blonde didn't hate him as he feared, didn't connect Brian to the pain and the blood and the hospital. Good. Better. Roger was able to dispel some of the dark thoughts that were going round his head - as he had done in the past. He had a light to him, even in a situation as dire as this...Brian's heart swelled up with love.

Perhaps not everything was lost yet.

There was a smile and Brian decided that maybe this hospital wasn't such a bad place after all - any place where Roger was smiling was the most blessed place in the world.

Yeah, Brian was being a sap. He didn't even care.

Sometimes, excessive love was the one thing that kept you going.

 


End file.
